I was asked to talk about having more than one child. As some of you know, I have 5 children and 3 grand children. I didn't plan on having 5 children (I don't plan anything really), but 5 is what I got and I would not want to do without any one of them. Each person that enters your life is a whole big beautiful world and come with their own individual joy.
When I had my first child, Yusef. I felt so much love and like I couldn't possibly love anything more than him. It was so hard to imagine a more perfect love and child for me. However, 18 months later a beautiful lovely daughter, Yusra, arrived. During my pregnancy with Yusra I was worried how would it be possible to love this second baby as much as the baby I already had. Well in the moment of her coming out The love exploded! I loved whole heartedly my baby Yusef, but I also suddenly whole heartedly loved Yusra. When you give birth each and every time love washes over you as well as all members of the family. Birh is an explosion of Love, every time. It is hard to believe it possible to feel it so strongly with each one, but you do. Love is infinite and birth is proof of that. Each one of my children has my heart in knots. I can not imagine my life with out any one of them. I think being a parent teaches us to love immeasureably. I often think that parents are taught/ trained more from their children then any teaching or training we give them.
I know it is hard to be the parent to 1, then 2 then 3 etc. but we all manage to do it. I will say I think it gets easier, because now you have help like you never had with number 1. I remember when I had my 4th, Suraya, I thought wow this is so much easier then ever. I know people might be thinking well you are just crazy, but sincerely 4 seemed way easier. I think we develop skills with each child ; so with each subsequent child, things that were hard are easier not just because of the help from the older children but also because we have become really fast at diaper changings. We as parents have grown and honed our skills.
The other worry I used to have is how can I give my children the love they each deserve. It is hard to give them everything you want to give them, but then I realized that with a big family they get their needs and love not just from one or both parents, but also siblings. My kids have a team to call upon, not just mom and dad. Now that some of my kids are adults with their own families, I see how they help eachother to move, or child care, or any number of things. It was intense when all five were in the house, but those days go by fast and now with only 2 still at home it feels very quiet ( crazy right???).
Being a mother is HARD and also AWESOME all at the same time! I am very grateful for all the love and fun I have with my children. Don't be scared of one more child, you never now the beautiful unique joy that each one brings, it's immeasureable!
I was sitting here thinking what is interesting about home birth and well many things arose in my mind about that. One of the most intersting is about Germs! Everyone worries about germs and has concerns about home birth and it's safety. I think one of the most encouraging safety issues is the germs in your house. A mother lives in this house, they are her germs and she has antibodies to thses germs. The antibodies she has are passed to the baby, therefore the environment of the home is a safe one for the baby. The baby will not be exposed to anything foreign for it's immune system and can transition without risk of a dangerous infection. In the hospital there are all kinds of nasty potential infectious agents. Hospital's try very hard to limit this risk, but it is still a risk. To me this is a critical piece for the safety of homebirth.
Another topic related to this is the microbiome. The microbiome is the bacteria that babies are covered in during the process of a vaginal delivery. They have recently discovered the increadible imporatnce of the microbiome. These bacterias are critical for life long health. They have found that babies colonized with bacteria during vaginal birth have reduced likely hood for many digestive issues as well as other health problems later in life. A very good movie on the subject is called Microbirth. After I watched this movie I proceeded to inform all my children that I gave them the best possible foundation for their immune systems and gut health.
With Homebirth the potential for vaginal delivery is about 90%-95% ; where as in the hospital it is about 67%. Yet more good news for Homebirth.